The Itsy Bitsy Spider

Ellie. My anxious worrier. She came home from a sleepover at Taylor's on Sunday and showed me the bug bite on the back of her leg. She had showed it to me earlier in the week...no biggie. Apparently it had been bothering/itching her, and Taylor gave her a bandage.

At some point, she showed it to Eric, who said that it might be a spider bite. Exactly the wrong thing to say to Ellie. She's worried, weepy...

Lauren, always the empathetic one, decides to share her empathy with Ellie through song:

The itsy bitsy spider climbed up Ellie's leg,
and now she's going to DIE, DIE, DIE!!!!!

I'm not sure if it all dissolved into punches being thrown at that point, but there were definitely more tears.

If only I could somehow harness that which is Lauren into something good...

Oh, Erin...what am I in for??

It's been a while since my last post...I need to do better with this since this is my link to the laughter my children bring to me.

Yesterday, I went to pick up #2 and #3 at school. Erin likes to run ahead of me on her way to the door, and yesterday, she actually pushed the door open. I brought her back inside and explained how that wasn't OK, she can't go out by herself because that's not safe, etc. No problem, although I was trying to contain my smiles as I talked to her because she's just so stinkin' cute! (I swear I'd have 10 kids if they came out when they were almost 3...) So then, Ms. Mary, the sweetest lady you'd ever want to meet -- she sits at the front desk -- comes over to tell Erin she's can't go outside without a grownup, not safe, etc. Erin turns on the waterworks and starts bawling her eyes out. She's just like Ellie like that...very sensitive. (Lauren...not so much.) We drive home, she's still upset for part of the way, but gets over it.

So last night at dinner, this was part of the conversation:

Me: "So Erin, did you tell Daddy what happened at school today?"
Erin: "What?"
Me: "About how you went outside...without a grownup?"
Erin: "No."
Me: "Are you going to tell Daddy?"

(drumroll please...)

Erin: "Leave me alone, Mom. Leave me alone, Dad."

Not even 3, and she's telling us to leave her alone. Oy.

Apparently, she is #1...

A video of our family at dinner would probably be appalling to most. No one seems to be able to sit in their chair the entire time, a spoon might fly across the table, chewing with mouths open, random gas being passed (thanks, Lauren). Let's not forget a drink being spilled, the need to show an adult the piece of meat that can't be chewed and swallowed...you get the picture.

Last night, typical scene. Lauren has taken to telling Erin she's a bad girl. Now of course, that's not nice, and we tell Lauren to stop, but Erin seems to be able to take care of this herself. She stands on her chair and starts yelling at Lauren, "I AM NOT A BAD GIRL! I'M A GOOD GIRL!" While this is common, last night she followed this with, "I'M #1!" complete with index finger sticking up in the air. Eric and I have always been weak with laughing when we should be holding it in and correcting someone, so we just lost it laughing...of course, the wrong thing to do to a 2 1/2 year old. She had an audience, and she was going to keep their attention...too funny.

What is with my kids and tampons??

So last week, Erin told me she needed to go potty. Mind you, we're not really working on potty training -- she goes at school during potty time, and I'll put her on if she asks, but I'm not doing the "do you need to go potty?" every 5 min. When she does go #2, however, she does get 2 M&M's, which are her favorite thing on earth.

So she goes potty, and I say, "Good job, Erin! Now you get 2 M&M's!"

She says, excitedly, "I get a prize!"

We have never once talked prizes. I look at her and say, "No. You don't get a prize. You get 2 M&M's."

She hops off the potty, pants around her ankles, and runs down the hall to my room. She goes into my bathroom, opens the cabinet, pulls out a tampon and says, "I got my prize!" She then proceeds to spread her legs and place the tampon down there, looks at me and says, "I stick it in my bottom?"

"No, no!" I say. "That's not a prize. You don't stick it in your bottom."

She says to me, confidently, "When I'm a grown-up."

Note to self. Erin is too old to be in the bathroom with me.

Got souls? I think not...

Driving #2 and #3 home from school the other day, and Lauren says, "Mom, guess what happened at school today? It was really bad."

I guessed that one of her teachers was leaving, and she said in a very chipper voice, "Nope. Murray our guinea pig died."

I said, "Oh Lauren, I'm sorry. That's really sad."

"Oh, don't worry Mom. It's OK. We're getting a new bunny!" She was completely thrilled with the idea and didn't seem to be the least bit affected by Murray's death. She then said, "Today, at hug circle, when our teachers told us, Erin was yelling, "Murray's dead! Murray's dead!" over and over.

I was trying to contain my laughter at this point. We come home, Ellie gets off the bus and Lauren (in her chipper voice) tells Ellie that Murray died and how they're getting a new bunny. Ellie is instantly sad..."I loved Murray. Awwww...he died?"

Lauren is looking at Ellie like, "What the hell is wrong with you?" then proceeds to say something like, "I mean, what's the big deal, Ellie? Everything dies."

Oh Lauren...

INAPPROPRIATE!!!!

So we're all sitting at the dinner table the other night...

Ellie: "You know, I don't think it's fair that I have a grandmother that I haven't met."
Lauren: "Well you know, you have a grandfather, too..."
Ellie: "I have a grandfather?"
Kathy: "Of course. Everyone has a father."
Lauren: "Not my friend, Elijah. He has two moms."
Kathy: "You're right, Lauren. Some people have two moms and no dad."
Lauren: "Or two dads."

(Brief pause. At this point, Eric and I are just amazed where this conversation has gone and is going. And then it starts again...)

Ellie: "Do two moms kiss?
Kathy: "Yeah, just like daddy and I kiss, two moms kiss too."
Lauren: "Do two dads kiss?"
Kathy: "Yup, just like a mom and a dad or two moms..."
Lauren (throws her head up in the air): "INAPPROPRIATE!!!"

So apparently, Lauren has no problem with the concept of two moms, but she was not having the two dads at all! LOL

Poison Control...Action!

This happened a few weeks ago, but nevertheless, the 3rd call to Poison Control. Not on my watch, though...this one's on Eric! Erin, who loves squirt bottles, decided to ingest the whiteboard cleaner.

Erin, we love you. Please stop this.