Apparently, she is #1...

A video of our family at dinner would probably be appalling to most. No one seems to be able to sit in their chair the entire time, a spoon might fly across the table, chewing with mouths open, random gas being passed (thanks, Lauren). Let's not forget a drink being spilled, the need to show an adult the piece of meat that can't be chewed and swallowed...you get the picture.

Last night, typical scene. Lauren has taken to telling Erin she's a bad girl. Now of course, that's not nice, and we tell Lauren to stop, but Erin seems to be able to take care of this herself. She stands on her chair and starts yelling at Lauren, "I AM NOT A BAD GIRL! I'M A GOOD GIRL!" While this is common, last night she followed this with, "I'M #1!" complete with index finger sticking up in the air. Eric and I have always been weak with laughing when we should be holding it in and correcting someone, so we just lost it laughing...of course, the wrong thing to do to a 2 1/2 year old. She had an audience, and she was going to keep their attention...too funny.

What is with my kids and tampons??

So last week, Erin told me she needed to go potty. Mind you, we're not really working on potty training -- she goes at school during potty time, and I'll put her on if she asks, but I'm not doing the "do you need to go potty?" every 5 min. When she does go #2, however, she does get 2 M&M's, which are her favorite thing on earth.

So she goes potty, and I say, "Good job, Erin! Now you get 2 M&M's!"

She says, excitedly, "I get a prize!"

We have never once talked prizes. I look at her and say, "No. You don't get a prize. You get 2 M&M's."

She hops off the potty, pants around her ankles, and runs down the hall to my room. She goes into my bathroom, opens the cabinet, pulls out a tampon and says, "I got my prize!" She then proceeds to spread her legs and place the tampon down there, looks at me and says, "I stick it in my bottom?"

"No, no!" I say. "That's not a prize. You don't stick it in your bottom."

She says to me, confidently, "When I'm a grown-up."

Note to self. Erin is too old to be in the bathroom with me.

Got souls? I think not...

Driving #2 and #3 home from school the other day, and Lauren says, "Mom, guess what happened at school today? It was really bad."

I guessed that one of her teachers was leaving, and she said in a very chipper voice, "Nope. Murray our guinea pig died."

I said, "Oh Lauren, I'm sorry. That's really sad."

"Oh, don't worry Mom. It's OK. We're getting a new bunny!" She was completely thrilled with the idea and didn't seem to be the least bit affected by Murray's death. She then said, "Today, at hug circle, when our teachers told us, Erin was yelling, "Murray's dead! Murray's dead!" over and over.

I was trying to contain my laughter at this point. We come home, Ellie gets off the bus and Lauren (in her chipper voice) tells Ellie that Murray died and how they're getting a new bunny. Ellie is instantly sad..."I loved Murray. Awwww...he died?"

Lauren is looking at Ellie like, "What the hell is wrong with you?" then proceeds to say something like, "I mean, what's the big deal, Ellie? Everything dies."

Oh Lauren...

INAPPROPRIATE!!!!

So we're all sitting at the dinner table the other night...

Ellie: "You know, I don't think it's fair that I have a grandmother that I haven't met."
Lauren: "Well you know, you have a grandfather, too..."
Ellie: "I have a grandfather?"
Kathy: "Of course. Everyone has a father."
Lauren: "Not my friend, Elijah. He has two moms."
Kathy: "You're right, Lauren. Some people have two moms and no dad."
Lauren: "Or two dads."

(Brief pause. At this point, Eric and I are just amazed where this conversation has gone and is going. And then it starts again...)

Ellie: "Do two moms kiss?
Kathy: "Yeah, just like daddy and I kiss, two moms kiss too."
Lauren: "Do two dads kiss?"
Kathy: "Yup, just like a mom and a dad or two moms..."
Lauren (throws her head up in the air): "INAPPROPRIATE!!!"

So apparently, Lauren has no problem with the concept of two moms, but she was not having the two dads at all! LOL

Poison Control...Action!

This happened a few weeks ago, but nevertheless, the 3rd call to Poison Control. Not on my watch, though...this one's on Eric! Erin, who loves squirt bottles, decided to ingest the whiteboard cleaner.

Erin, we love you. Please stop this.

One down...two to go...

Ellie had Election Day off, so she came to work with me. I took her to the bathroom, as you need a key to get in. As she's standing there, drying off her hands, she says, "Mom...I mean, I know what a napkin is, but what's a tampon?" Ahhhh...the question I've been dreading. I said to her that we could talk about it in the car. Her response: "Why? Is it something bad?" (Ellie, always afraid of the worst...) I thought, "Well, we've got to go back to my office, go down the elevator, walk to the car...maybe she'll forget." No such luck. As soon as the door on the van closed, she said, "So what is it?"

And so I launched into it. Told her first that I needed to give her a little background info. Talked about eggs, ovaries, fallopian tubes, uterus and blood. I think I did a darn good job, honestly. No talk of the male role in making babies yet, but at the end, I said, "So do you have any questions?" No questions. (She was probably in stunned silence.) Knowing Ellie, I think this will come up again in the next few days, if not weeks.

Costume

Yesterday, Lauren and Erin had school pictures, both individual and sibling pictures. I went to the mall on Tuesday and found these really cute shirts at Gymboree: cream-colored long-sleeved shirts saying "big sister" and "little sister" in fall colors. Since Lauren likes skirts (and rarely gets anything new), I splurged and got her the skirt and matching tights which had the same fall colors in leaves decorating the sides of the tights. Typical Gymboree cute. Picked up leggings for Erin. All told, the bill for these items was about $70, certainly a splurge.

I bring them home, and show them to Lauren. Less than thrilled would've been an understatement. She said she wasn't going to wear the shirt, I said she was, she said she wasn't...you get the picture. She said she wanted to wear what she wore last year. I told her that it wasn't an option, she was wearing the shirt, but she could wear jeans if she wanted. (I knew you wouldn't be able to see below the shirts in the pictures anyway...) She finally relented with this comment: "I guess I'll wear that costume you bought me..."

Costume. An outfit from Gymboree she calls a costume. The fact that, at 4, she mocked the clothes I bought her as a costume. (I, however, am $40 richer since I returned the skirt, tights and leggings...)

Poison Control, Take 2

A few years back, I made my 1st call to poison control when I walked in on Lauren, who had taken her diaper off and had a dirty face, if you know what I mean. Yesterday, I made my 2nd call...

I was sitting on the sofa helping Ellie with her homework, and Erin yapped something at me and wandered upstairs. A few minutes later, I heard water running. Thinking she had turned the tub on, as she likes to do at bathtime, I ran upstairs and headed into the girls' bathroom, where the light was on. Spun right, toward the tub...no Erin. Turned left and there she was: standing on the stool and brushing her teeth with the flouride toothpaste. Lots of it. It was on her shirt, and boy was her breath minty! I looked at the bottle (Colgate Pop Stars) and there was quite a bit missing. I looked at the back of the bottle...something about if more than a normal brushing amount was ingested, contact Poison Control.

Lesson learned...a child would need to ingest about 3/4 of an adult tube of toothpaste for there to be a problem. I was told to give her some milk as she might get an upset stomach. No sign of that...

However, that leads me to a follow-up of the story...

So, this morning, Erin does #2 and tells me she needs a diaper change, as she now likes to be changed immediately when that's in her diaper. So I change her, and let me say...it was a very odd color and consistency -- don't know if that was flouride-related or not. I put a clean diaper on her and send her on her way. She goes downstairs and starts to cry. "My bottom hurts...I need cream..." I'm kinda confused by this, as I had just changed her and saw no irritation. So I confirm with her. "Your bottom hurts? You need cream?" She says yes, so I tell her to lay down and I go to get the cream. I come down, take off her diaper, and there, sticking out of her girl parts, is the plastic "T" that is a result of cutting a tag off of clothing -- the plastic that holds the tags to, in this case, socks. She was fine, once I removed the impaling object. :-) Don't know how that got there.

Erin's visit to the opthamologist

So, I took Erin to the opthamologist this morning...Lauren tagged along as I would drop them off to school afterwards. It's been about 6 mos. since Erin's last appt. -- of course, she's such a different person than she was then. We get there, and instead of sitting on my lap as she usually does, she insisted on sitting in the chair alone. Dr. Tong gives her the typical examination -- following little rubber toys on a light, etc. Then he decides to try an eye test -- for her age, they use pictures instead of letters. The pictures are in black, very plain, kinda like inkblot pictures. "What's this?" he asks her as he shows her a birthday cake (she answers "circle"), duck, horse, truck...then he shows her a picture of an old tabletop phone. I had to tell him that she'd have no idea what that was. Erin hung in there for a bit, but she soon tired of this activity as he covered up one eye at a time to check her vision. Lauren sat quietly through the exam until the point where Dr. Tong asked her "What's this?" and she answered, "Dip. I like carrots with dip." I thought Lauren was going to pee her pants with laughter. And of course Erin, liking the reaction, starts answering every question with random words. It was pretty funny. Outcome? Dr. Tong does think she has weaker vision in her left eye, which would make sense because that is the eye with the astigmatism, however, he wasn't confident enough to change her prescription, and wants to check her again in 6 mos.

Been awhile...

Can't believe it's been a month since I posted...hysteria continues to rain down in our household. We spent a great week in Nags Head the last week of August, and then it was back to school. Ellie has started off 3rd grade really well -- enjoying math, surprisingly. I don't know how long that'll last, but I'm hopeful. Lauren is happily back as a real "older," not the fake one she insisted on being last year. Erin is quite the personality -- from what I hear at school, she gets pushed around quite a bit because she's so little, but she gets right in everyone's face with a pointed finger and the verbal message, "I don't LIKE dat!" She is a force to be reckoned with.

Some random observances:

Lauren's new joke: What do you call cheese that's not yours?
Answer: Nacho cheese

On the drive home from school each day, if the older girls try to talk to me, Erin screams at the top of her lungs, "NO TALK (insert sister's name)!!!! DRIVE!!!" She will do this every single time someone opens their mouth.

Ellie started off the year with girl drama -- she and another classmate don't seem to particularly care for each other (they also know each other from YCamp), and I spent a fair amount of time during the 1st week of school talking to Ellie about how you're not going to like everyone, and everyone is not going to like you. Ellie seemed determined to win this girl over. Sooo Ellie. Things seem to have died down on that front, but I am soooo not looking forward to 3 adolescent girls, especially when you see that kind of stuff trickle down to 7-8 year olds.

Baby carrots, anyone?

So we're all at dinner tonight...chatting, laughing, nothing out of the normal. Out of the blue, Lauren says, "OK." Everyone turns to look at her, and she has a baby carrot hanging out of one nostril. I immediately collapsed into laughter. The whole table was hysterical. How do you even begin to seriously correct that kind of behavior? We have yet to figure it out.

A few minutes later, Erin has been let out of her chair and brings in a current favorite book: Teeth are Not for Biting. (Side note: This book was originally purchased when Lauren was 2 as she was well-known for enjoying a human snack...) This book is part of a series of books with similar titles, such as Hands are Not for Hitting. Lauren suggested a few titles of her own: Bottoms are Not for Sitting on People and Noses are Not for Picking.

We will eventually marry her off. We will eventually marry her off. (repeating)

Riding a Bike

Somehow, I missed the memo to teach your child to ride a bike when they're 4. Apparently, it's completely possible. However, when I see others in the neighborhood going into 4th grade with training wheels, I figured I wasn't behind the curve with this. Heck, you barely see kids out riding at all...

I did, however, think that it was time Ellie learned. I didn't really care if it was something she particularly wanted to learn -- I just think everyone should be able to ride a bike. We got her a new bike last year because she'd outgrown her last bike, and the size she needed didn't even allow training wheels. We were stuck learning how to do this, and I was determined that this is the summer to do it.

Last summer, I picked up a bar at Target called a Balance Buddy -- it's reminiscent of the high bar that was on the back of the old banana seat bikes when I was a kid. I got it out a few weeks back and began to put it on Ellie's bike. Ellie was looking at the marketing blurbs on the cardboard that came with it, and said something like, "Am I going to be able to ride in 15 minutes?" as that's what the marketing said. We talked about marketing, and I said she probably wouldn't be able to that quickly. Took the bike out, and sure enough, by the end of the "session," Ellie had pedaled about 10 ft. independently. Heck, I don't even think she cried! We then didn't ride for a while but got the bike out this past weekend.

Weekend snapshot: Eric -- clothes soaked, running tirelessly behind that bike, giving Ellie pointers. Lauren -- pedaling along on her Disney Princess bike with training wheels, patiently waiting for her turn with the Balance Buddy. Erin -- helmet on her little head as she's riding her big wheel with legs up in the air, enjoying the slope of the court as it makes her travel really fast. Me -- trying to make sure Erin doesn't tip over and crack her head open and Lauren doesn't get hit by a car. Ellie -- crying, yelling, stomping.

Ellie, perfectionist that she is, has convinced herself that after trying for 2 times, she'll never be able to ride a bike. There's no telling her otherwise. Now I must add that I gave her an incentive at the beginning of the summer -- learn how to ride your bike, and I'll buy you the American Girl doll that you want. See, Ellie has so much natural ability that she's yet to really have to work hard to accomplish something. I knew bike riding wouldn't be exceptionally easy for her, and I want her to learn the value of working hard at something and achieving it.

I'd go in to change Erin's diaper, Ellie and Eric come in arguing. Helmet is tossed. They're arguing. I'm refereeing. Or maybe I was out with her, in which case Eric becomes the object of the vents and frustration. It was not particularly fun.

So last night, Eric takes her out and she pedals from one end of the court to the other with extremely minimal help from Eric. I was so excited for her! (Of course, I think she was pretty excited too, but true to form, she didn't let on.) And, of course, she wanted me to immediately order up an American Girl doll, except I reminder her that the deal was pedaling in a loop around the court alone, without someone running behind her -- a real, honest-to-goodness bike ride. She's not there yet, but I bet I'll be $100 poorer in the next week or so. Go Ellie! I always knew you could do it.

Math Camp

I'm sure that if Ellie reads this blog years from now, she'll read this entry and say, "...and I'm still mad at you for sending me to math camp!" I'd like to post my defense...

1st of all, Ellie thought this was a great idea months ago when we had to register for math camp, as she'd get to spend the remainder of the day with her friend, Brenna, who she's known since preschool. Of course, now that math camp is upon us, she's still happy to be spending the day with Brenna. As for math camp, not so much.

Ellie, I want to say this to you (of course I tell you this as well)...I know you don't like math, but I'm glad you went to this camp. You are so bright and good at math -- you lack confidence. I don't want you to ever think you can't do something, when all you need to do is work a little harder to achieve. You are awesome, I love you, and I'm proud of you for hanging in there (with minimal complaint).

Love,
Mom

P.S. I know that you're not bringing home all of the papers from camp. I don't know what you're doing with them, but I know there are papers. Moms are smart like that. (Just didn't want you to think that you're outsmarting me...)

On your mark...

So the girls have this fun game that we play sometimes after dinner. They'll stand by the bathroom door in the living room, and I'll give them an instruction as to how to race from the door to the couch and back to the door. It could be something like spinning, walking backwards, crawling, etc. (Erin, of course, has to get in the mix, but she always loses...and gets in the way :-) So last night Ellie and Lauren were racing, and every time Ellie won, we'd say, "And Lauren wins!" It took Ellie a bit to get the joke, although the looks of indignation were quite funny. Once she figured out that the 2nd place person was declared the winner, she started slowing down and letting Lauren win. Of course, then we started with "...and Ellie wins!"

True to form, Lauren immediately resorts to violence. I thought Eric and I were going to die laughing. She comes charging at Ellie, face full of rage, and starts kicking, swinging, yelling...absolutely priceless.

A kiss makes it all better

Erin is interesting to say the least. She just turned two, so she's discovering how much fun it is to be defiant -- likes to throw things, hit people, and just do the opposite of whatever she is asked. She seems to be on the sensitive side, more like Ellie in that regard than Lauren. Whenever she gets corrected by Eric, she comes and tells me about it with the hope that I'll take her side. Whenever I correct her, she gets all weepy and insists on giving me a kiss on the lips - a big, wet sloppy kiss. It's her way of getting back in good graces -- total manipulation. I'm on to her though...(and such a sucker). There's no doubt she's the baby of the family -- most likely will get away with more than the others. (Sorry Ellie and Lauren :-)

Learning to ride a bike

So, I took the training wheels off of Lauren's bike a few days ago and put on this bar called a Balance Buddy. It's an upside-down U-shaped bar that hooks on to the back axles -- seems to give the rider more of a feel of control and balance. I told Ellie that if she worked really hard over the summer and learned to ride her bike, I'd buy her an American Girl doll, which she really wants after reading all of the books. Lauren's bike is a bit small for her, but it's not as intimidating as her larger bike, and we thought it would help her with her confidence.

Sure enough, Ellie got on the bike and within a half-hour, she was pedaling on her own. A bit unsteady, but rode a few car lengths all by herself! I was so proud of her, and as Eric said, I'll always remember when she learned to ride a bike.

Lauren got on the bike on Saturday. I'm pushing her around the court, she stops in front of Hugh and Laura's house, and says, "I've got the toots." Gets off the bike, sticks her bottom out, passes gas twice, gets back on the bike, says, "There we go," and starts pedaling again. What a lady. I think she might just be riding a two-wheeler before the end of the summer.

The boss

So, two nights ago, Lauren is getting ready for bed, and she begins telling me a story about school that day. Now, it's important to note that Lauren has assimilated herself into the grouping of kids at preschool known as the Olders, as they're going to be going to kindergarten in the fall. She will not hear of it that she is technically a Younger.

One of the Youngers, who Lauren has been with since she was 3 mos. old, asked to play with Lauren and her friends. Lauren, who is quite the social leader, told her that they were playing High School Musical, and that it was "inappropriate" for her.

Stopped the story at this point to remind Lauren that this girl is the same age as her, and that her older friends are going to be leaving soon, she needs to be nice to everyone, these are the friends that she's going to have this fall, etc.

I'll be interested to see how Lauren adjusts in the fall. She'll either sink into depression, or be running the show. My guess is she'll be on the school's payroll.

Starting this blog

Well...I guess the reason I'm starting this blog is that I have 3 little girls (Ellie 7, Lauren 4, Erin 2) who amaze me each day with their personalities and humor. Unfortunately, I don't have a great memory, so as the days and years pass, I wanted a way to be able to look back and remember some of the funny and interesting goings-on in our everyday life. Hopefully, I'll keep this up because they're creating memories for me that I'd like to have for a lifetime.